Jake, thank you for the feedback! Fortunately, I have a bunch of iterations on the deck along with a history of the changes.
The deck you're looking at is a result of what I call "spinning in a vacuum". Meaning, we all need advice and guidance. And, unfortunately, it lives a-plenty online. Most of it is shit.
Version 6 (this version) was the result of modeling Front's Series B deck. Not saying their deck was shit, rather the 'inside baseball' is what made it work, not some magic format.
The mistake I'm NOT going to make is saying "well Front raised X so I'm just going to go with it"
I've spent far too long writing copy and making presentations. This deck was the result of an overloaded schedule and taking the easy way out. Plus, I forgot one of the top rules of writing any sort of sales copy: Know what the copy is trying to accomplish. (Jake's point #2, above)
A close second was the way Jake described "zooming in and zooming out". I never would have looked at the story arc that way. Closely tied to it was what we call "the greased slide" in writing sales copy. The person hearing/reading should slide from the first slide right to the call to action (take a meeting, this is worth your time, your team's time, it's less risky than the other 2,143 deals you've seen, you won't look stupid pitching this to the committee)
Jake, thank you for the feedback! Fortunately, I have a bunch of iterations on the deck along with a history of the changes.
The deck you're looking at is a result of what I call "spinning in a vacuum". Meaning, we all need advice and guidance. And, unfortunately, it lives a-plenty online. Most of it is shit.
Version 6 (this version) was the result of modeling Front's Series B deck. Not saying their deck was shit, rather the 'inside baseball' is what made it work, not some magic format.
The mistake I'm NOT going to make is saying "well Front raised X so I'm just going to go with it"
New, tighter deck in the works.
New deck is 12 slides moving to 10.
Related to this discussion: https://fs.blog/2019/01/how-not-to-be-stupid/. It's 10 minutes well spent.
I've spent far too long writing copy and making presentations. This deck was the result of an overloaded schedule and taking the easy way out. Plus, I forgot one of the top rules of writing any sort of sales copy: Know what the copy is trying to accomplish. (Jake's point #2, above)
A close second was the way Jake described "zooming in and zooming out". I never would have looked at the story arc that way. Closely tied to it was what we call "the greased slide" in writing sales copy. The person hearing/reading should slide from the first slide right to the call to action (take a meeting, this is worth your time, your team's time, it's less risky than the other 2,143 deals you've seen, you won't look stupid pitching this to the committee)